Little Known Tips For A Safe Summer
1. When sunning on the beach, remember to turn your chair occasionally, or you will recognize like a piece of ribbon candy, half red and half white.
2. After the barbeque cooking is done, remember to turn the gas completely off before you light your cigarette.
3. Swat that hornet if you must, but pull off the road before you chase it into the back seat.
4. Keep your car windows mostly closed while shopping. The unbearable heat will subside once your air conditioner kicks in, but the odor of the skunk that snuck in will last a lifetime.
5. Keep track of the number of cocktails you might be enjoying beside the pool. You might eventually feel like Paris Hilton while approaching the lifeguard stud muffin half your age, but you still don’t look like her.
6. Before you choose to buy yourself a Harley and relive lost youth, make clear you can come by your leg up high enough to get it over the seat. Riding side saddle is much too British.
7. Speedos are not icy. They are distracting to others on the beach and an environmental hazard when the stuffing comes out in the water.
8. Lawn darts should not be played with small children. They will beat you every time.
9. Showing your children how to feed the seagull is cute, but not so great when every seagull in a six mile radius figures out some sap is throwing french fries around. Scenes from Alfred Hitchcock’s “The Birds” will annoy the old bat sitting next to you.
10. If “Enzyte” Bob happens to stop at your yard sale, don’t let him near the china table. He could wipe your profits out with one move.
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Filed under Male Stamina by on Sep 12th, 2011. 